Being a Man

Recently, I met up with an ex for some drinks.  As rare as it is, we have been able to cultivate a close and supportive friendship after having dated.  She was distraught over how she couldn't "read" the man she has been currently dating.  After having asked her a few detailed questions about their interactions, I concluded to her that he was either a) not being a man or b) attempting to turn her into some sort of booty call.

Ladies, if a man consistently suggests "hanging out" at his place over activities in public or things you want to do he's most likely just trying to take things to an intimate level with as little work as possible put into it.  He's either lazy or doesn't know how to take the lead in this fledgling relationship, whatever it may be. 

As far as this blog goes, my opinions on being man are mainly about the early, early stages of a relationship. Maybe I'll write about being a man in other stages of a relationship later on.  For now we will stick with the establishing of a relationship. 

I like romantic comedies.  And I would hate to quote one since it may diminish my credibility as a male opinion, but they are spoken by Wolverine.  In the film Kate and Leopold, a character named Charlie gets the phone # of a girl he is interested and he decides to call right away to leave a message on her answering machine so the "ball's in her court."  Hugh Jackman replies, "The point is, to keep the ball in your court."

Gentlemen, present yourself as such.  A gentleman. And then be a man and be open about what you want.  If you want a booty call, seduce her and if she's not having it, then move on to someone who will.  If you like a girl, then tell her.  It doesn't have to be kindergarten playground style(throwing sand in their hair and yelling "I like you!" as you run away) but you as an individual can find your own appropriate way of doing it.  Just make sure it's clear.  I've become suspicious that men have learned to use ambiguous tactics just to so they can save face if they were to be rejected.  So at the first sight of a possible rejection they can say something like, "what?  you think I was hitting on you?  C'mon, we're just friends, hahaha."  Then they can walk away without feeling too exposed or vulnerable to a woman's rejection.  Being a man not only means you are decisive person with a plan but a person that can handle the rejections that are inevitable for everyone in these endeavors.  I'm sure even George Clooney and Brad Pitt have experienced their fair share of rejection (I hope...).

Whether you're looking for a one night stand or someone to grow old with, don't be a pussy.  Be a man.